Mommy Pigg

You really just have to roll with it when you fall madly in love with a man whose last name is Pigg. Ten years of marriage later, hubby and the kiddos (which I refer to as ‘my people’) get a real kick out of calling me Mommy Pigg. So here I am in all my Mommy Pigg glory.

How did I get here? You know that girl with whole heart? We were freshman year college roommates! Oh girl, how did we get here? I am crazy honored that she asked me to blog for you all!

The journey: After college I got married, became a school counselor, and had three sweet boys. My life journey thus far has included many seasons; joy, sorrow, relief, longing, calmness, and wild. We walked alongside my sister-in-law through a 20 month battle with cancer that ended with her joyously meeting our Lord. We lost a baby to miscarriage but had three healthy boys. We made two major moves and started over with friendships, churches, and jobs. I talk a lot about seasons and believe that they are a huge part of our lives.

The here and now: So in this season every day looks just about the same; I stay at home with my three boys, ages 5, 2, and 6 months! I work hard to take care of my family, feed them well (hear me saying ‘feed them enough’ because they are human garbage disposals), honor God, and spread joy around me. The boys take an incredible amount of brain power (and some days there just isn’t enough) but I long to raise men of character.

My passions: Let me just say that I am passionate about my husband; this man is so wonderful! He and I began a mission in January to simplify our life and create space to enjoy it while serving others. I love to be active, be on the go, and take my people with me! We are trying to figure out how to be better versions of ourselves both individually and as a couple. As much as I hate to admit it, I am a little behind the times on the clean and organic movements. So we can walk the journey together as I become a healthier and more thoughtful consumer.

Moving forward: Yes! Let’s walk this life journey together through the crazy seasons and celebrate the highs, stick together in the lows, and laugh through it all! For me, laughter is key. Why, you ask?

Because my people call me Mommy Pigg.

Steph

How to Raise a Kid with a Personality

You know the kid. That kid who wears a suit or a tutu to school just because. The kid that creates weird, almost inedible sandwiches with every item on his plate with gusto and enthusiasm. The kid that wants to give his teacher a plastic unicorn head for the end of the year gift? The kid that acts like a dancing monkey to make the special neds student in the class smile. I love this kid! I love the kid with serious personality and charisma that doesn’t take themselves too seriously and says what they wanna say and does what they wanna do. 

So, as parents, how do you raise this kid? How do you raise a kid with personality, character, and heart?

I’ve given this topic alot of thought because I’ve known alot of kids in my day. I’ve known the kids with personality for days and I’ve known kids with the personality of a stack of bricks. Truth be told, I worry about the kids with little, or no, personality. How will they ever succeed? Who hires the boring person lacking charisma? I want to raise a kid with personality for days; the kind of person people can’t wait to see and love being around.

Step 1: Model

If you want a kid with personality, you have to find your personality, too. Don’t transform from super cool rocker chick into frumpy soccer mom overnight just because you have a kid if that’s not who you are. In my opinion, a mom is somebody that mothers kids and there’s no right or wrong way for a mom to eat, sleep, drink, or dress. So, first and foremost, be true to yourself and let your own personality shine. How will your kid learn to be true to themselves if everyone around them is fake?

Family flour fight

Step 2: Do Weird Things

My dad worked long hours when I was a kid, but he didn’t want to miss out on taking me and my sisters to the park. So, he’d often come home around 10 or 11 at night (on school nights), wake us up and take us to the park to play in our PJs. Do you think he ever cared what anyone else thought about this? Nope. He valued playing with us more than anything else. We dressed up as Donald, Daisy, Hewy, Dewy, and Louie one year for Halloween and a box of Raisin Bran the next (literally). We hunted craydads in the muddy gullies of Houston when it rained, we had food fights often in the kitchen, and we slept in our car a few times while traveling Europe to save on expenses. Adventure was more important than comfort : )

Step 3: Value Personality in Others

We watched movies and TV shows featuring people with a lot of personality and character. My dad usually shared his feelings about these strong personalities aloud too, “Wow, that girl sure is alot of fun” or “I love a women who seeks adventure”. Hearing these things taught me to evaluate people based on character, but also personality. I grew up wanting to be someone with personality and character because that’s where value was placed.

Step 4: Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

My dad is infamous for his “Rick-diculous” dancing, costumes, and pranks. For example, he decided to squirt my mom down with ketchup and mustard just for fun on one of their first dates. I think he was testing her to be sure she didn’t take herself too seriously. It was a match made in heaven! In fact, below is a picture of my prankster husband smashing my mom’s face in cake Christmas night. Just because.

When my little sister was a kid and got a round brush stuck in her hair, my dad made her go to the movies with the family and wait to get it untangled later. The image of the brush’s silhouette sticking out the side of her head in the theater will always make me laugh out loud.

Step 5: Let Them Be Them

This one is crucial. Don’t falsely inflate their self-esteem with “Wow, you’re so great” when they really didn’t do anything great, but focus your energy and enthusiasm on the things about them that really are great. When they say something funny, laugh! When they ask a question, don’t be so quick to answer and explain something to them, but get their thoughts instead. Trust me, hearing their thoughts is often film-worthy! Let them try things you know they’re going to fail at and praise the effort, not the product. Allow them to explore, seek adventure, and get dirty. Don’t shame them when they make mistakes, but encourage the initiative and creativity.

She’s mid yawn, lol

Laugh! Create! Sing! Dance! Play! Explore! Live your life with passion and be compassionate!

Inspire them to do things differently, try something new, wear something weird, ask stupid questions, paint with all the colors, mix the play-doh of life!

The most successful people in the world are the ones that did something different!

Tell us about your kids. What’s their personality like?

Love, That Girl

I’m Not a Perfect Mom, and It’s Driving Me Insane!

I’m not perfect. Yes, I said it. I am a mother, and I’m not perfect. I can admit to my failure all day long, but honestly, the guilt I feel every day is an emotion so overwhelming I physically ache and I’m going crazy trying to be the perfect mother.

If you are a mom you’ve experienced mommy guilt in some form or fashion.

Most things I feel guilty about are small issues that may seem silly, but I seriously beat myself up over every possible thing I may be doing wrong.

It started from the moment I discovered I was pregnant…

I shouldn’t have eaten all those sweets today. I’m not resting enough. I’m resting too much and I’m not active enough. I’m not eating enough fruit for the baby’s health. I’m too tired to spend a lot of time playing with my other children.

To giving birth and having a baby…

I should’ve done a natural birth with no drugs. I shouldn’t have sent the baby to the nursery so soon. I shouldn’t have stopped breastfeeding so early. I’m not holding the baby enough. I’m holding the baby too much. I should’ve waited to go back to work until the baby was a little older. I should have been a stay at home mom.

To toddlerhood… I shouldn’t have let her play on the iPad before bed. I should have bought organic fruit. I should have woke up earlier so I wouldn’t have had to curb their appetites by giving them a Poptart in the car. I should have cuddled them more before bed. I should’ve picked them up from daycare earlier. I should be taking more pictures. Should she really be eating donuts for breakfast?

The list goes on and on and on and on. My oldest daughter also has severe eczema and I could go on for days about the guilt I feel over not finding a treatment that has resolved her constant red and itchy skin (but that’s a story for another day).

A few days ago I broke down in tears to my husband after my three year old tried to swing from the cord to her blinds during her nap time and the cord ripped into her fingers and cut her skin. I blamed myself for not being attentive enough to hear her playing, having a safety latch on the cord, and not being able to take her pain away.

My husband reminded me that my kids are going to get hurt, because they are kids, and that’s not always my fault. He also reminded me that I am not a failure as a mother because I truly care, and worrying about every little thing was getting me nowhere.

He was right. I was beating myself up everyday, and while I’m not perfect I do show up for my kids every day. I make sure they are fed, have lunches for school, they are clothed and their laundry is clean, they are bathed, read to, listened to, and most importantly, they feel loved.

I sat down and thought about some ways that I am going to try and overcome my mommy guilt, because lets be honest, if this doesn’t stop I will be ripping my hair out by the time the girls are teenagers.

Here are some quick tips I am going to use to help cope with my mom guilt…

1. Research and Decide What’s Best

If someone tells me gluten-free stopped their child’s tantrums, or organic foods and natural oils should be the only thing I’m buying or using for my children, I’m going to do my research and find out what’s best for my kids, and I am going to stick with that. I’m not going to continue feeling guilty because I’m not using cloth diapers or medicating with homeopathic remedies if that’s not what I feel works best for my children and my family.

2. Reflect and Respond

Everyday when I pick them up from daycare I ask my children what the best part of their day was, because if I say, “How was your day?” they usually respond with , “Good, but…” and proceed with something negative that happened. Just as I want them to focus on the positives, I am going to do the same for myself. I am going to reflect on all of the things I AM doing well, and if there is something I find I truly should feel guilty about, then I will fix it.

3. Play with My Kids

Instead of distancing myself from my children when I am feeling guilty, I get closer to them. I read them stories, play a game, or build a fort. I have meaningful conversations with them, and it always makes me realize that no matter how imperfect I am, they are happy and healthy and feel loved and that’s all that really matters!

4. Have Some Me Time

Sometimes it’s okay to take a break from the kids. There are days where I need some mommy time where I can focus on pampering myself. If I am in a negative mood or I am feeling down, those emotions trickle down to my little ones. Getting away from the stress of motherhood and stepping back to look at all of my blessings helps me not only destress but also keeps me sane. A happy and healthy mommy, makes for a happy and healthy family.

5. Let It Go

I am going to take some advice from my girls favorite Disney character Elsa, and “Let it Go”. Oddly enough, this song spoke to me and actually made me tear up the first time I heard it. If you listen to the lyrics carefully, I think it speaks to mothers everywhere who experience mommy guilt and like me, feel that we as mothers have to be perfect. Let it go, and know that even though you aren’t perfect, your children still see you as their hero.

“Don’t let them in, don’t let them see, Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know, well now they know! Let it go, let it go That perfect girl is gone!”

What are some things that make you feel mommy guilt? What are some strategies you use to deal with mommy guilt?

ACK Wrap Love!!!

The first time you see the ACK Wrap, you think, “Oh that’s cute”. The second time you see the ACK Wrap you think, “Yeah, I need one of those.” The third time you see the ACK Wrap you think,

“Dammit, I’m buying one right now!” 

Meet Leslie, the adorable founder and designer of the ACK Wrap. “When our daughter, Charlotte, was born July 4, 2014, I was instantly in love. I stared at her the entire first night..she instantly became the center of my world. When Charlotte was just five weeks old, we flew to Nantucket to visit my parents. I had gone to the island every summer for the preceding decade and couldn’t wait to take my daughter. I soon realized that the cobblestone streets and uneven brick sidewalks of Nantucket made navigating a stroller nearly impossible. Furthermore, I struggled traveling through the airport with my stroller and finding a good way to breastfeed was frustrating to the point that I was in tears.

Dissatisfied by the monotony of other baby carriers on the market, I knew there had to be a better option. I decided to make my own carrier from fabric that matched my style and with that, the first ACK Wrap was born.”

Leslie is now an Austinite and you know how we heart keeping things local! ShopWholeHeart.com HAS the ACK Wraps available for you!!!

Babywearing benefits include:

• Better sleep
• Happier baby
• Less crying
• Hands free mom is a happy mom
• Improved bonding
• Increased trunk and head control
• Improved language development
• Healthy physiological patterns

Plus, ACK Wrap donates a portion of their proceeds to help NICU families in Austin!!! Gotta love a grass roots company with a heart like that.

We heart the ACK Wrap!

Who is that Kelli girl?

Did you catch the viral video set to Uptown Funk motivating kids getting ready to take the STAAR test? That was my dear friend, Kelli Hauser! She’s a dynamite chick living life with a whole heart; raising a family, inspiring young minds, and being true to herself. That Girl, Kelli, has joined the Whole Heart team. Check her out…

In order to understand the voice behind a blog I think it’s important to understand the person behind the computer. Here is a little about me and why I have chosen to begin the blogging experience.

I was born and raised in the once small town of Burleson, Texas. Yes, the home of the first American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson. I grew up with loving parents, went to church every Sunday, and was blessed to have a younger brother and sister to keep me entertained.

I went to college at the University of North Texas in Denton, about an hour from where I grew up. Far enough to get away, but still close enough to go home when I needed my momma. I met my amazing husband my senior year of college. He and I connected from the moment we first met. We both loved music (he plays guitar and I sing), and we began playing music and performing together and quickly fell in love. Within a year we were engaged and and six months after that we were married! We both became teachers after graduating from UNT, and stayed in Denton.

Two years later, I was diagnosed with PCOS and endometriosis. I had to have surgery and with only one ovary left my doctor told my husband and I that if we wanted to have children we had better start trying. Fearful we wouldn’t get pregnant we began the journey of trying to conceive and after four months, I was pregnant with our first baby girl, Kinley. Our little miracle was born happy and healthy in May of 2011, and when she was only four months old, despite all odds, we found out we were pregnant again! We had our second baby girl, Khloe, in June of 2012, only a year and month apart from our first. Needless to say I was thrilled but also overwhelemed!

The summer after I had Khloe my body began to turn against me. I began getting ill on a constant basis, had skin problems, and my hair began to fall out. My skin would get hives, my eyes were red, burned all the time and were light sensitive. For weeks doctors battled to calm down what I learned to be vasculitis of the eyes and skin. After many tests, doctors confirmed I had systemic lupus, an autoimmune disease. I was absolutely devastated. My family, career, and health had finally seemed to be on track and I was so scared about how this disease would affect my life. My doctor has me on meds for my lupus and I have good and bad days.

I currently teach 6th grade reading at a middle school in Denton, Texas. I am a cheerleading coach as well. I am pursuing my masters degree in School Counseling. My husband is an assistant principal at at high school in Denton, and my little girls are now 2 and 3.

A lot of my posts will be about living with an invisible illness and still trying to be a good wife, daughter, mother and teacher. I have a lot to say as well about teaching, marriage and motherhood to anyone that will listen.

xoxo That Kelli Girl

What are some things you’d like to know about me? What would you like to hear me discuss in my blogs?

Welcome to the Infertility Party

I consider myself a bit of a veteran in the infertile world and I’ve found that only humor, faith, and a kick ass group of friends can help you navigate it without losing your mind entirely. This post is dedicated to the newbies wondering how they’ll make it out alive.

HUMOR 

I was post anesthesia

1. The fertility center is a “fork in the road” (emotionally) EVERY single time you walk in the door, whether it’s the first time or the last time. You can choose to break down, because you despise the fact that you’re there, or you can smile, laugh, and find the humor in each awkward situation. I remember one day being spread eagle in the stirrups, my lady parts exposed, and a tech intern (who looked 12 years old & very uncomfortable) walked in. I awkwardly found a way to meet her eyes and said, “Welcome to the party!” She laughed, but more importanly, so did I! Humor helps.

2. I used to hate getting sonograms because for awhile there EVERY single one was bad news. I’d leave in tears, call my mom, consider driving off the 360 bridge, and go home to curl up in fetal position and watch bad daytime TV. So, one day I asked my husband to go with me. When he saw the 2 foot long vaginal wand next to the computer screen his eyes got huge and he asked, “Where does that go?”. I laughed and said, “I’ll give you one guess”. He said, “Chels, I beg you…when the nurse goes to insert that, lift your ass off the table and yelp, ‘Whoa, wrong hole!'” Ha ha ha ha ha! Well, I didn’t have the balls to pull that off, but I did giggle through the whole exam.

3. Our first IUI was extremely stressful. The doctors & nurses gave us ZERO instructions regarding the process and we had no idea what to expect. All we knew is they’d take our “sample” (aka sperm), spin it in a machine to whip the lil guys into action, and then insert the juice via a catheter. Well, I made a playlist for our first IUI and included songs like, “Whip It”, “Spin Me Round”, and “Whip My Hair” to make us smile.

FAITH

1. It can be hard to keep the faith when you experience a disappointment every 28 days. When you were a teenager, your period meant you couldn’t wear your fave white shorts to the party Friday night, but as an infertile adult, every period is like being punched in the gut and hearing God laugh, “Ha ha ha, not this time!” I had to stop looking at God as the evil one reframe my thinking to remind myself that it was not Him doing this to me. God was the one in charge of the process as my protector and provider. Only He can decide when the time is right for your baby to be born. It’s your job to take the tests, swallow the pills, follow the schedules, but ultimately He is still in charge.

2. I also went through a period of wondering if using infertility treatments meant I was playing God. Was I creating a “synthetic baby” as portrayed in the media? My baby sister, Skyler, said “Science only goes so far. God decides if life gets created”. She was right. The medicine may assist you in the process, but life does not form inside you without God’s consent.

3. My one and only pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage after 6-8 weeks (estimated gestation). The grief experienced there is a whole other level (and another blog post), but it nearly killed me. I was PISSED at God before I decided that maybe this was God’s way of saying, “Don’t give up. It’s still not time for your baby, but here’s a glimmer of hope that this is possible for you one day”.

Kick Ass Friends

The day I found out I was pregnant…before the loss

1. My girlfriends and their husbands have been amazeballs! They’ve been an ear to hear me, a shoulder to cry on, and bartenders when I needed a cocktail or a glass of wine.

2. They have NEVER tried to give me unsolicited advice or tell me what they think I should do…not once, which is awesome! I get so sick of people telling me, “use this oil”, “drink this tea”, “gain weight”, “stop running”, “don’t stress”….AHHHHHHHH!

3. They also gladly engage in my monthly, “I’m Not Pregnant Party,” which is how I avoid the 28 day mental breakdown. Instead of falling apart, I’d try to focus on what I could do since I wasn’t pregnant at the end/beginning of each cycle. I’d go for a run, eat sushi, and drink martinis.

PS: Don’t let the posts in the media about the 65 year old mom of multiples or the she-man who got pregnant discourage you…those should be signs that the science is strong. If those peops can get preggers, so can you. It may just take awhile. Keep heart.

Stupid Easy Sunday Brunch

I had a BUNCH of girls over to my house this morning for a work thang and I knew it was going to be a looong day. I needed stupid easy brunch things to keep these mamas fed so I looked no further than Trader Joes, aka mecca.

Major blogger mistake: I totally forgot to snap pictures today! We were too busy stuffing swag bags (and our faces) for photos, lol.

1. Danish Pancakes

• Pick up Danish pancakes in frozen section at Trader Joes
• Pay for them at the counter ($5)
• Cook at 400 degrees for 10 minutes
• Sprinkle with podered sugar
• Set out syrup, honey, nutella, and/or lemon curd

Photo credit: bloatalrecall.blogspot.com

2. Sriracha Deviled Eggs

• Boil a dozen eggs (smart chicks do this the night before)
• Dump the cooked yolks into a bowl and add 2-3 tbsp of sriracha, 2 tbsp of mayo OR sour cream, 1-2tbsp of dijon mustard, a splash of white vinegar and salt, pepper, cayenne, onion powder, garlic, and paprika.
• Top with bacon! Or chives!

3. Fruit Salad

• Buy fruit
• Dump it in a bowl

Serve mimosas or bellinis! Trader Joes has awesome peach juice and great deals on champagne. Keep the coffee hot and fresh too.

Ta-da! Stupid easy (and cheap) brunch for 6-8 hungry mamas!

Love and Live with a Whole Heart

I watched a movie this past Sunday called “Mary and Martha” about two women that meet in South Africa and bond over the death of their sons to malaria, a disease that kills nearly half a million children a year. The women band together to bring awareness to the disease and seek financial aid to help protect the children of South Africa. 

Photo Credit: poptower.com

The main character, Mary, said she wanted to be “extraordinary” and I found myself wondering how I too could be extraordinary. What makes a life extraordinary anyway? I pondered this question through Sunday and it’s been weighing on my mind until this morning when I remembered the words of the elderly Noah in my favorite movie, The Notebook…

“I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough”.

Read these words again and again until they become a part of your soul and schema. THIS is how to live an extraordinary life…LOVE!

If you love others with all your heart, you are living extraordinarily! This love should also spark a passion for something outside yourself. Find your passion and be compassionate!

What’s your passion?

Help! I’ve been Robbed!

When I was in college I worked at a bar in downtown Dallas near the West End. Employees had to park blocks away from work, which left me walking to my car alone at three or four o’clock in the morning several nights a week. I started getting followed to my car by a group of Mexican gang members….

Eventually my manager made it mandatory that I ride to and from work escorted with one of the bouncers. Well, one night after work, these men followed me and the bouncer to a gas station and one man shot at my friend while the other man put a gun to my head through the car window and told my friend he was going to kill me. I looked into the man’s eyes and tearfully asked him not to shoot me. After what felt like an eternity they eventually drove away, shooting into the air, leaving me traumatized, terrified, and frantic.

Since this incident I don’t get gas at night (EVER). I get in my car and lock the doors while the gas is pumping, even during the day. I’m terrified of guns and actually cried at the gun range when my husband was attempting to help me face my fear. My heart pounds and I get a lump in my throat every time a car pulls up beside me at a gas station. Those men robbed me of my sense of security and my trust in people.

It may seem dramatic, but hear me out…struggling with infertility and pregnancy loss is not unlike this incident from my past. Infertility has robbed me of my security and my trust as well.

I’ve been robbed!

When I found out I was pregnant the first time I was overjoyed! I celebrated immediately with my friends and family. I have my friend’s reactions to my pregnancy announcement on video. My girls gave me the tightest hugs and cried the most sincere tears and my friend’s husband laughed with genuine happiness for us. I won’t get those reactions a second time. I worry my friends and myself will be hesistant to be excited. Our joy will be accompanied by fear.

My two best friends!

 

If I get pregnant again I’ll spend the first six or seven months wondering if I’ll make it to term and being terrified of another loss instead of planning showers and designing a nursery.

Nowadays when someone announces a pregnancy, my stomach tightens and I feel the corners of my mouth tremble. I’ve been robbed of the ability to feel excited for them…I get there eventually, but it’s rarely with a full heart.

Women without an infertility diagnosis can rely on love alone to bring a baby into their lives, but I’ve been robbed. I have to keep charts, use timers, remember meds, and visit doctors morning, noon, and night.

And, I always thought I’d be the pregnant chick at the gym every day, the easy going mom who’s ‘laxed about her new baby, but after my loss I worry I’ll be high strung and fearful. I’ve been robbed of my sense of security yet again.

Maybe enough time will pass that I’ll get over this feeling, but for now, I feel I’ve still got a little PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).

How do I get my security back?

A Baby Will Not “Complete” Me

Take these pills, give yourself this shot, make this smoothie, drink lemon water, schedule your sonograms, go to the specialty pharmacy, pay the medical bills, slow down your exercise, eat salmon and avocado, increase your fluids, jump, sit, beg, bark, roll over…

Raise your hand if you know this feeling. Fertility treatments are extremely time sensitive; something few people can understand. Fertiles will say, “Just relax, don’t let it consume you”, but it’s completely impossible to relax when you’re given a chart and a packet full of instructions every month broken down by day and hour. This can take a toll on your life, but also your friendships, your faith and especially your marriage.

I’m a Christian, but I totally forgot what that means until a complete meltown last week. I was still trying to find my footing after my recent pregnancy loss and was crying (bawling uncontrollably) to my dad. I was really struggling with envy, anger, and self-loathing while watching both of my sister’s happiness, the oldest with her toddler and infant boy, the youngest pregnant with her first, and wondering why this hadn’t happened for me.

My little sister and I got pregnant at the EXACT same time! Why did she get to keep her baby and not me. I felt my baby was a boy and yet she’s having a boy? Why not me? Why? Why? Why? As I tried desperately to find answers I realized that “why” is a seriously dangerous word that can pull you straight down the rabbit hole. God does not answer “why”.

After peeling me off the bathroom floor after what felt like an eternity, my father and big sister encouraged me to reevaluate where my focus was. Even though it’s damn near impossible NOT to focus on a baby when you’re entire life revolves around your fertility treatments, I remembered this verse:

1John 2:15-16 “Do not love the world, nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world”.

I have allowed my focus to shift from the cross to what’s in the world, or more accurately, what’s NOT in my world. I cannot allow my want for a child to be what defines me, complete me, or gives my life purpose. Yes, I want a baby more than anything else in the entire world, but if I never become a mother, my life still has value. I’m a wife, a sister, a friend, a stepmom, a counselor, and a badass aunt!

Do I want to watch my child in their school play? Yes! But I can cheer on my friend’s daughter in her dance recital, too. Do I want to show my children the wonders of the world? Yes, but I can travel with my nieces and nephews, too. Do I want to raise servants of the Lord? Yes, but I can also model a servant’s heart for the children I serve as a counselor, too.

I want a baby because I desire to see my love for my husband incarnate, because I think it’s our duty as Christians to “fill” the kingdom, and because I was loved so well as a child that I want to pass that love on to my child. I want a baby, but I’m not incomplete without one either.